Formal Introduction and Farewell

I thought I would share Audrey's birth announcement with those of you who didn't get a hard copy. I was a little worried that it was too much pink, but the photo turned out great for a do-it-yourself. Although all I did was purchase the outfit and hold up a blanket for backgroud, the shot was taken by Fletcher's wonderful ex-physical therapist, and a pretty darn good amatuer photographer at that! You can see more pics from the photoshoot in Audrey's welcome video a little later in this post.

Not surprisingly, I am finding it almost impossible to keep up with one blog lately, let alone two. My original plan was to wrap this blog up, start a blog called "Letter to my Children" containing day-to-day life and pictures of both kids, and then devoting Smallest Smykay solely to special needs content. I have quickly realized that just isn't going to happen. Instead, I am still going to stop posting to this blog (although I am keeping it up) and just use the Smallest Smykay blog for both kids.

Before I go, I would like to briefly comment on the first five months of Audrey's life. She is, in a word, amazing. I was able to bring in what I would guess was at least three-fourths of a full supply of breastmilk and nursed her exclusively for 3 weeks, and, had the only consideration been supply, I could have made it longer. However, Trevor went back to work at 3 weeks and it was impossible to devote the time to nurse Audrey, fix her an ounce of formula supplement, and feed her the supplement via bottle while at the same time taking care of all of Fletcher's needs all by myself. So, without guilt, I gave it up and Audrey has been 100% formula fed ever since. And she certainly seems to like it. At four months she was >97% for weight and 95% for height... and to think, we spend the first week at home going to the doctor every day for weight checks. In fact, at four months she weighed 17lbs 6oz, which was 2 ounces more than Fletcher weighed at one year!

So, obviously feeding has been a breeze (except she spits up like crazy, seriously, we go through about 10 bibs a day, but she is a happy spitter). And I am thrilled to report that she has been an easy baby across the board. Her weight helped her sleep through the night (very) early (don't hate, I still wake up once or twice a night to tend to Fletcher) and her demeanor is pretty laid back (although that is starting to change as she is becoming more active). In fact, about a month ago someone asked my mom what Audrey was like, and she replied that she is the easiest baby she has ever known. This coming from a woman who has five kids and six grandkids so far. So, yeah, we got the easy baby we so needed. Believe me, Fletcher more than evens her out!

In the future, you can find updates on both Audrey and Fletcher at the Smallest Smykay Blog. I leave you with a photo montage of our sweet little girl when she was still little. And I can't say it enough, thank you, thank you, thank you Angie for all you have done, and thanks to all of you for your support during this crazy journey- one with the sweetest reward.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Wordless Wednesday: Girlie Girl

Birth Story (The painful truth)

I figured I would make a post to let everyone know the real birth story. Erin's recount, like most expectant fathers who do not fully comprehend the agony of childbirth, was written from a bed of roses. Not to down play Erin's role, she did labor for at least thirty minutes... over her feet that she was filing with my ped egg that she made me bring because she did give me the only pedicure appointment the salon had available. I wish I had a picture to post of her scraping away at her feet, while I am laying in pain waiting for my epid,ural. Listening to that sound was almost as bad as the labor, almost.

Finally it was time for my epid.ural, my OB had come and ruptured my water, and I was starting to hurt. It took about a hour for anesthesia to get to my room, as Erin posted they had just started a c-section. In Erin's original post she wrote that the CNA was placing my epid.ural, those of you in the medical field (and some not in the medical field) know that a CNA is a nurses aid. So to clarify things, no I did not let an aid place the epid.ural, although I was about at the point I would have allowed anyone, including housekeeping, to do it. She has now changed her post to say CRNA, which was a skilled nurse anesthetists. Within fifteen minutes of the epid.ural placement I was feeling no pain. I did have a complication with the epid.ural, in which my blood pressure dropped to 80's over 30's, which is quite a drop for a girl on blood pressure medications to control elevated blood pressure, necessitating a dose of epinephrine. I should have just suggested Erin get back out the ped egg because I am sure that made my pressures hit the roof.

By this time my mom had arrived and she and Erin decided to leave me alone to rest in my drugged up stupor. My nurse, Pam came to my room to check my progress and reported a 5 cm dilatation. I got on my phone and tracked down Erin and my mom to give them the update, they were in the cafeteria. I guess with all the foot filing Erin did she had worked up an appetite. Next I placed a call to Trevor and Greg letting them know to come on in, although I expected 2-3 more hours of labor. Within the next hour I began to have decels which are drops in the heart rate of the baby. The decels were happening with every contraction, which I had to let my mom know I was still having as she was on the phone with her sister reporting the contractions had stopped because she could not see them on the monitor.

Next thing I knew in walks the nurse and my OB. I immediately got nervous because from my past two labors I knew they didn't call the OB until right before the baby's debut. I thought great I am getting a c-section. Instead as Erin posted the plan was to insert an internal monitor and infuse fluids to get the baby off her cord, which was compressing with the contractions causing the heart rate to drop. The plan changed as OB checked my cervix finding me complete and ready to push.

Trevor had not made it to the hospital yet, but they began placing me in the stirrups. Trevor arrives and is guided in by a nurse because he is refusing to open his eyes, afraid to receive an unsolicited eyeful. Trevor was place in a chair at the head of the bed, looking more than a little queasy, and the pushing began. Both of my boys were delivered with one or two pushes because I was able to labor down, which means when the pushing started they were low and ready to come out. With Audrey, I started pushing with her in a much higher position. Later that night as I recounted my pushing with my mother/baby coworkers at the nurses desk, I was telling them how hard I pushed and how it was much more difficult than delivering my boys. I told them it was only about 30 minutes but it was intense. I had my nurse Keisha look up in the chart how long I pushed and she looks up at me and says, Angie it was only 7 minutes. Everyone got a good laugh at that, but I told them it was a hard 7 minutes.

Next Audrey was here and the deliberation over who would cut the cord began. My OB offered it to Erin first, she declined, next Trevor declined, I began to think I was going to have to cut her cord myself. Finally after a stern "Trevor get up and cut this cord," from Greg, Trevor relented and cut the cord.

The baby was then given to Erin and I was left with my OB who was dealing with my excessive blood loss. He got the bleeding to stop and finished up with me. The baby was doing great and my recovery period began. A normal recovery is an hour and a half, well mine was extended to five hours because you guessed it I started bleeding again. After two more bags of pito.cin, lots of painful uterine massage (by massage I mean pushing so hard I could feel it in my spine) and 4 cyto.tec pills place up my bottom I was stable enough for transfer to the post partum unit.

Once on the post partum unit I thought I was doing great and everything was fine until I got up to the bathroom. I felt a huge blood clot come out but when I got to the bathroom just one tiny clot was on the pad. That is when I realized it fell in the toilet. I thought great my nurse was my good friend Keisha who gets a little queasy with blood and the protocol is when a patient has a large blood clot you have to measure it. So I called for my sister to bring me a glove and I fished that thing out myself. The only thing available to place it in was a lid from my lunch at Gates BBQ so I placed it in that. Which is where the french fry rumor started, no I did not have a french fry in my blood clot, there may have been a few left in the lid. It is surprising that I left any in the lid because I did eat enough french fries it wouldn't be that surprising if one were in my clot. I called Keisha who had to check the clot and notify the doctor that my bleeding was continuing. She came back with a shot and lots of uterine massaging. Finally that was the last of my excessive bleeding. I think my uterus was afraid of Keisha and decided to behave.

That concludes my part of this journey and I will gladly pass the sleepless nights and crying baby on to Erin and Trevor. She is beautiful. Enjoy!

Birth Story and Beyond

I guess this is really part two of the Birth Story beginning with the epid.ural. For the exciting first chapter, including but not limited to such thrilling topics as cervical thinning gel and Big Poppa, you will have to check out my earlier post.

Angie was none too happy that the anesthesiologist was called into a c-section, so her epid.ural, which she had thought she had timed perfectly to receive before the pain actually hurt too much, was delayed. My mom was arriving just as the CRNA was prepping the injection site, so I stepped out into the hall to fill my mom in, and to avoid the procedure, as I get a little squeamish at the sight of blood (and there was more than expected as it took two sticks to get it properly positioned).

Once Angie was sufficiently drugged and comfortable, mom and I went downstairs to grab a little breakfast in the hospital cafeteria and let Angie rest. As we were finishing up about 30 minutes later, Angie called from the room and said she was dilated to 5 and that the doctor said she was progressing, finally.

We called Trevor and Greg and told them to come up and then sat around and stared at the monitor, which wasn't really registering the contractions properly. What it was registering was what the doctor called "variables" in the baby's heart rate. From what I can tell, this is a new politically correct name for what I knew as "decels" or decelerations of the baby's heart rate. They seemed to correspond with the contractions, so the nurse and OB came in and the plan was to insert an internal catheter which would get a more accurate reading of the contractions and also give them the ability to add more fluid to the uterine cavity to cushion the baby, as they felt the decels were probably due to cord compression during contractions.

Plans changed when the OB examined her to prep for the catheter and found that she was "complete" (I thought he said "an eight") and she needed to start pushing. I do have some pictures, including some classic annoyed looks, from the next few moments of pushing (which were intense, if not lengthy... Angie has a funny story to post about that if she so chooses) but even I have some restraint over what I post on the Internet.

The only labor picture I will post, promise.

Despite my squeamishness, I decided that I would take my place behind the doctor to watch all the action. I mean, how many mothers get this great of a view of their child entering the world. Greg was also at Angie's feet because he thinks watching births is "really cool." Trevor wasn't sure he even wanted to be in the room, but Angie and I convinced him otherwise and that he wouldn't see anything he didn't want to see if he sat in a chair near the top of the bed. Children aren't allowed in the room during delivery, so my mom was watching Fletcher in the family waiting room.

I have to admit, it was really hard watching the pain and effort Angie went through to birth my child. It was hard, and incredible. I really can't put it into words, so I won't even try. It was just... awesome. As I gawked in wonder, Trevor sat in the glider and tried not to pass out. I think he was just having flashbacks to Fletcher's birth and was very, very nervous.

After a handful of very intense contractions and even more intense pushing, out popped this head. This beautiful, gunky, only-slightly-cone-shaped head. One more push and her body followed.

Our First Look

Presentation for the Camera

After this picture the doctor placed her on Angie's belly and, after a little convincing from Greg, Trevor cut the cord. After quickly being dried off, they gave Audrey directly to me for a little kangaroo care. I had to wait over a week to hold Fletcher, so I was thrilled to get to hold Audrey immediately. Trevor was slowly regaining his strength, but was still a little nervous. He kept asking when they were going to check her O2 sats or do further testing. I told him that she was pink, which means her O2 was fine. But you have to understand, after being in the NICU for so long with Fletcher, it was really hard for him, for both of us, to really wrap our heads around a normal birth.

As I held Audrey, she let us know that she wasn't really thrilled with her new, cold, bright, noisy environment. I had read in a baby book that if you planned to breastfeed, it is a good idea to try it out as soon as possible after birth. I have heard plenty of breastfeeding horror stories about pain, and problems latching, and you name it, so I thought is was pretty ridiculous to expect a minutes-old baby to breastfeed. But Audrey was crying, and laying there on my bare chest, so I thought, what the heck. And, what would you know, that little girl almost immediately latched on and began quietly and contentedly sucking away. What? Believe me, I realize how lucky we were, are, in that department, but it was just so unexpected.

First Cuddle

Trevor went and got my mom and Fletcher to introduce them to Audrey. Fletcher loves a room full of people, little did he know how his life was about to change.

You can't really see it, but his shirt reads "I'm the Big Brother" (thanks, Aunt Shannon!)

Next, the nurses from the nursery came in to do their assessment. Finally, the medical attention Trevor was waiting for (but, alas, still not a pulse ox to be seen).

Tolerating the Stethoscope

Eye Goop and Vitamin K Shot... Not So Much

The Weigh In

After the assessment, they wiped her down and wrapped her up and I thought it was time for Fletcher to really meet his little sister. Honestly, he just really wasn't that interested. He has always been more drawn to adults than children, particularly babies, and I am not certain at this point that he realized that Audrey wasn't some doll. The good news was that he didn't dislike her, and wasn't acting particularly jealous.

Mom and Her Babies

First Family Picture

While the Smykays were busy posing and welcoming their newest member, Angie was enduring the yucky post-birth procedures, and not without complication. I won't go into too much detail here, but in a nutshell, they had some trouble stopping her bleeding. Luckily, with some extra time in recovery, a couple different medications, and a large blood clot containing a french fry (not really, there is a story there, too) by late that night things were looking much better.

Speaking of later that night, after a trip to the nursery for a nice bath and change of clothes (I have a 13 minute video of the whole endeavor, but I will spare you) Audrey was ready to eat again and settle in for the night (as much as any newborn settles in for the night).

Tucked into Her First Bed

Running on adrenaline from the events of the day, I stayed up until after her midnight assessment, fed her, and then settled down at around 1:00 am (but not before a little diaper changing incident that involved lots of meconium, spit-up, and then peeing all over her little bed). Although I slept with one eye open to keep watch on her, I actually did sleep for a few hours, and she didn't wake up until a little after 4 am.

Due to the timing of the birth, we got another day and a half in the hospital for recovery and observation. So the next day was spent getting to know more family, including the family Audrey has lived with for the past nine months...

Cousin Trey... So Sweet

Cousin Michael... Equally As Sweet

Angie's boys were just so incredibly excited to meet her, and were so curious and gentle with her. And I know I told Angie I wouldn't post any of the photos I took of her this day, but I think she looks fine in this one and Audrey's expression is too cute not to share.

Super-Aunt Angie and Audrey

Maren and Alexa with Their "First Girl First-Cousin"

Not Happy about Trying on Her First Photo Outfit

Between visits from her cousins and Great-Aunt Shirley, Audrey got her hospital photo taken and her newborn hearing screen, both with success. Saturday night they did the skin test for billirubin, which was slightly elevated and necessitated a blood test, but even so, Audrey's second day of life was blissfully uneventful, medically speaking. Her night was more of the same, although she didn't sleep quite as soundly as she did the night before (a trend she has continued).

The morning of her third day was spent hanging out with her brother and cousins while we packed up and got ready to go home.

Audrey and The Boys

My Two Moms

Nothing Jazzes Up a Hand-Me-Down Car Seat Like a Cute Matching Outfit

Leaving the Hospital

Coordinating Car Seats... Purely Coincidence, I Swear

What's next? That would be trying to figure out how to manage TWO kids on my own after Trevor goes back to work (which thankfully won't be for another couple of weeks).

I think I need another pair of hands.

And, no, Fletcher's don't count (although look at him already teaching his little sister how to stick out her tongue).

Introducing

Audrey Mae Smykay

June 11, 2009

12:40 p.m.

7 lbs 12 oz

19.5 inches

Birth Story Coming Soon

In Labor

I am sitting here in Angie's labor and delivery room feeling awful for putting her through this, but not as awful as she is feeling actually going through this, I'm sure. Her contractions are coming every three minutes and they are a little delayed bringing the epid.ural she requested about 20 minutes ago.

We arrived last night and they gave her some gel at about 8:30 to help thin her cervix. She got another dose at about 1:00 a.m. She was having some somewhat regular contractions at the time, more than she had with her boys who were delivered under a similar scenario, and since they were born around 10 am, we thought she might be here even earlier than the boys were.

We both brought some (rather disparate) reading material to pass the time, but most the night was spent chatting with Angie's coworkers from the mother/baby unit next door.

Angie's Book of Choice

My Choice: Last Minute Cramming

However, the early-morning delivery was not meant to be. Smykeeny Baby wants to stay with her Aunt Angie a little longer, so for encouragement they started the pi.tocin drip this morning at 6 am. Her OB then came in at a little before 8 am to break her water and now, about an hour later, they are prepping for the epid.ural.

Angie is tough, and has been suffering in silence, not even yelling or snapping at me once, even though I managed to get about 5 hours of sleep last night to her none. My mom will be here soon with my chai tea and Angie will be getting her epid.ural momentarily, so we are both about to be much happier.

Hopefully the next time I post I will have an introduction to make.

Last Night

Was the last full night of uninterrupted sleep that I will get for a long time. Checking into the hospital in 8.5 hours. Getting nervous and I'm not even the one who has to go through labor...

Last OB Appointment

Was uneventful. Doc said Angie was dilated to 1 cm, but that her cervix was thick and unfavorable for delivery (I think I am getting all the lingo right). So... even though Angie feels like there is a chance she will go into labor sooner (wishful thinking), my money is on our (her) admission next Wednesday night when they will give her some kind of gel to thin her cervix. If that doesn't do the trick, they will give her pit.ocin on Thursday to induce labor.

Trevor leaves tomorrow for his last pre-delivery trip. And while my bags are not packed, exactly, I have washed at least a weeks worth of newborn clothes as well as the cover for the co-sleeper. I treated Angie to a pedicure today, so her feet will look nice in the delivery video (which she thinks I will want; I am still not sure).

Next time I post I very well may be in the hospital "in labor" as Angie has made it very clear to me that once she is admitted, I am admitted and cannot leave unless it is for a food run, for HER. Fair enough. I think I may owe her one after all of this, huh.

Still Plugging, um, Pumping Along

Thank you mom and Little Einsteins. Without you both, I don't think this induction thing would work out. Trevor has been flying a lot recently, and Fletcher doesn't exactly entertain himself well (in large part due to my actions, I know), so I was getting a little nervous about how I was going to adhere to my pumping schedule. Thankfully, because my mom lives four miles away and will keep me company and entertain Fletcher the millions of times a day I need to pump, I have actually been semi-compliant with the prescribed routine and have been producing about 1/2 an ounce at each session. And, for the times when we are at home, Fletcher's new found interest in Little Einsteins has proved to be very, very helpful.

Thanks for your suggestions on the outfit. Pink is the clear winner, but I think I will take both pink and white to the hospital and see which one looks better. My mind has been racing lately with horror stories of bad births and last minute complications, so it has been good to think about inconsequential things, like wardrobe.

I will probably post one last time after Angie's appointment tomorrow and after that, check back on the 11th or 12th for the big birth announcement!

Belated Mother's Day Giveaway

I had a little, well, free time in China and one way I spent it was surfing baby-product websites for all those must-haves for SB and Fletcher. Those essential items that no baby can live without, you know, like this (yes, I am being sarcastic, however, Fletcher does really like the one I bought).

I found this really cool site that just happens to be hosting a Mother's Day Giveaway this whole month. Click on the icon below, check it out, and enter to win. Or don't, so I will have better odds.

We Have a Date

Unless Angie goes into labor earlier, which seems unlikely at this point given her past birthing history and the fact there is "not much happening" with her cervix, SB will arrive on June 11th. The OB gave us the choice of induction on June 8th or June 11th. Angie didn't care one way or the other, so I chose June 11th for a couple of reasons. First, did you read my post below about being completely unprepared? Well, a couple more days could make a big difference on the preparedness front, not only for cleaning, shopping and organizing, but it also gives me a couple more days to pump to help bring in my milk supply (more on that later, so if the topic makes you squeamish, you are forewarned). It also gives Trevor a chance to pick up one last trip to offset the FMLA days he will take after the baby is born.

But the main reason I chose June 11th is because it is (was?) my grandmother's birthday. I was very close to my grandma (my mom's mom) who passed away when I was pregnant with Fletcher. She was in the hospital when I had my first ultrasound to confirm a viable pregnancy and I went straight to her hospital room after the appointment to show her the blobby pictures. I will never forget that day. I think her excitement was second only to mine, and not by much. So, it will make me very happy if SB is indeed born on June 11th, and the occassion may even necessitate a (middle) name change in my grandma's honor.

The end is in sight as we have less than two weeks to go. I am still a little bit in denial, even though I have been shopping for newborn diapers and girly take-home outfits the past couple of days. I have also been reading baby books during my pumping sessions because, although I am a veteran mom, I have no idea what to do with a full-term baby.

Speaking of pumping (this is your cue to stop reading this part if you "don't want to go there"), as of yesterday I have entered the pumping part of the protocol. I now take 21 supplement pills a day (3 different supplements, but multiple pills) and pump every three hours during the day and once at night. I woke up at 2am last night, but Fletcher was just too cuddly, so I didn't manage to sneak off to his room to pump until about 4am. I am actually pumping right now as I type (for all you pumping moms out there, I recommend the Pumpease). I have yet to produce any measurable quantities of milk, but have produced some drops at each session, which I think is normal in an induction protocol (after all, it has only been one day).

Trevor has been great the last few days about looking after Fletcher while I focus on baby stuff (afterall, feeding is one of the biggest responsibilites when taking care of a newborn and I am already doing that part, in a sense). And I have a feeling the two of them will become quite close in the next few months.

So, it looks like everything is coming together and I have a chance of being marginally ready to welcome another member of the family. Angie is feeling good, as good as you can feel at 38 weeks, that is. Her blood pressure is great and while my mom thinks she "looks uncomforatble" she said she is not feeling too bad at this point, although I am sure she is ready to be done with this pregnancy. She gave me a tour of the labor and delievery and postpartum units the other night (she works there, so I got the informal, behind the scenes tour) and has filled me in on generally what to expect.

All in all, I am hopeful that unlike my previous experience, the most difficult decision I'll face this time around is what blanket background and outfit to choose for her hospital picture...

Which do you think?

Limited Access

I have been shut out of blogger the last week or so, so I haven't been able to update. I wrote the last post on May 14th (don't have that good of a memory, but since I wished Kenny a happy birthday it must have been that day). Another patient's father figured out a way I can access the blog, but I can't post any pictures or fix the layout, so any posts I add might not be as pretty until I get back to the States at the end of the month to fix them.

In the meantime, I will post anything even remotely interesting I hear about Smykeeney, although Angie says there is not much to report. Angie did tell me that she plans on naming the baby Norma, after my mom, since I have to fix the birth certificate and can change her name at that time. Honestly, I would be all for it, giving my mom a namesake for a week or two, but the more I think about it, I don't think it is a good idea. Would muck up the parentage action and may confuse things and stall the legal paperwork. So, Angie, if you are reading this, ixnay the Ormanay.

Peek-A-Boo

Angie got to take a peek at Smykeeney Baby last Thursday, and luckily SB is still safe inside Angie’s womb, so she couldn’t look back. Because, much to Angie’s dismay, I would not pay for the 4D ultrasound, you will have to make do with the following two images.

Here is her little (well, Angie says fat) face in the bottom right hand corner

The ultrasound tech said she has hair, but I think I will believe it when I see it (she is being born in in the Show-Me State, after all)

The doctor was pleased with the appointment. The baby looks great on ultrasound, fluid levels are appropriate. Angie’s BP is stable and she if she is dilated, it is not more than a “fingertip.” They estimated SB to weigh about 5 pounds 13 ounces, which just happens to be right around my birth weight.

I got a nice laugh today reading the blog of a woman I shared my cycle dates with (you can go to www.cyclesista.com to list your blog (I didn’t) and find other women undergoing fertility treatments at the same time as you (I did, from the deep dark shadows of internet lurkdom)). First I got a little surprise: her baby was born on Wednesday. She was a week ahead of us and having BP problems, so they induced her at 37 weeks. And the laugh, well, just go check out this post in which she talks about how prepared she is for the baby.

I, on the other hand, am anything but prepared. First off, the obvious, I am in a foreign country thousands of miles away from Kansas City. Second, house is not exactly sparkling clean. In fact, I have no idea how clean or messy it is as my lovely brother Kenny has been house sitting for us (Hi Kenny, Happy Birthday and thanks again for house sitting) and young bachelors aren’t typically known for their housekeeping skills. Particularly considering his roommates are two dogs. Not to mention that I can’t even remember the state of cleanliness when I left, but considering I overheard my other brother call me a “disgusting pig” a few days before we left, I am pretty sure it was far from immaculate. Third, the nursery isn’t quite ready. I got a good start on it, since I am just using Fletcher’s nursery and he is getting a “big boy room.” But the nursery is still full of little boy clothes and toys that have yet to migrate across the hall.

Thanks to my cousin Stephanie, we do have layette covered. And I did buy a box of newborn diapers and found the baby tub I had lent to my Aunt Laura, so I guess you could say I am not completely unprepared. Um, I guess…

A Little Insight

I ran across this post the other day from another former IVFer/micropreemie mom. It offers some great insight into how I, and many other people, are changed forever by infertility. How it can, and did, consume my life for years.

It also suggests that everyone call or write your congressperson about H.R. 697, The Family Building Act of 2009. The act would require group heath plans that provide maternity coverage to also provide coverage for infertility treatment. Her post also discusses the risks of multiple births and how insurance coverage and education on the true risks of a multiple gestation could go a long way in decreasing the rate of pregnancies with multiples due to IVF, a concept that I couldn't agree with more.

So this Mother's Day, in honor of all of those mothers who traveled the long road to get to their children, and those still on that road, please consider reading the linked post and writing your congressperson. I know I will.

Truckin' Along

Thursday's appointment was uneventful. Good BP, good weight gain. Next appointment in a week (from last Thursday) at which she will have an ultrasound to determine fluid levels, measure the baby and do whatever else they would do at such an appointment. What do I know, I had a two-and-a-half-month-old baby at this point in my pregnancy.

It Just Hit Me

I am having a baby. Well, kind of... you know what I mean. I just read a blog of a woman who got pregnant via IVF the same time Angie did. She delivered her twins yesterday. Angie is creeping closer and closer to term every day. Without the physical reminders, and even the visual reminder since I haven't seen Angie in awhile, it is surprisingly easy to forget we have a baby on the way. It still doesn't seem completely real to me. I am sure it is a whole 'nother story for Angie!

Obviously I can do little to prepare for the baby's arrival being in China and all, but I am doing one thing (well, two things as I am still dutifully following my induction protocol). I am enjoying every second of my final few weeks of being mommy to just one kid. And what a super special kid at that. We have a lot of down time here in China and without Trevor here for two and a half weeks, I am spending nearly every waking, and sleeping, minute side by side with Fletcher. And I can't think of any place I'd rather be. He loves life and loves being with his momma, and I feel the same way.

It is so exciting, but also a little scary, to be adding to the family. I suppose most moms feel that way on the cusp of having their second child. Only I don't have the swollen feet, aching back, strained muscles, and fatigue of those other women. So instead of just wanting the baby out, and soon, I get to be a little more introspective.

Angie has an appointment tomorrow and Friday will be 35 weeks, gulp. I called her in the middle of the night yesterday (it is handy to have a sister who works nights when you are in a time zone with a 13 hour time difference). She is feeling fine. The increase in bp meds did the trick and if anything her pressure is slightly lower than normal, although nothing alarming. Her youngest has pneumonia, though (get better soon Michael!), and I am praying it doesn't spread to her (or her other son).

I am hoping she will put up a post after this next appointment, but I am not holding my breath. I guess carrying my daughter is enough of a sacrifice so I can't really be mad that she refuses my requests for posts. I would also love to see a belly shot, since I delivered Fletcher before I took any of those. Shirt down will be fine. Whadda ya say, Ang?

First Missed Appointment

Angie had her first solo OB appointment of this pregnancy as I obviously could not fly in from China to attend (well, not entirely solo since at a bare minimum Smykeeny Baby was with her, if not her boys). I was hoping to have easy phone access here, but that has not proven to be the case thus far, so I emailed Angie late last night to find out how it went and here was her response:

He doubled my BP med dose b/c my blood pressure was 140/90, so I am getting high on them again, that's good. They have urine collection devices for babies that they put an adhesive baggie over the privates with a few cotton balls in it and when he pees it goes into the cotton and you just squeeze them into a container. Also my weight is still good and no protein in my urine. Also Jay was watching Trey and he was outside at the fence with the neighbor girl and Jay came out and Trey was like "Jay we were about to kiss," so Jay ruined Trey's first kiss!

Should I be worried? I am choosing not to be worried (at least about the blood pressure part... I might be a little worried that Angie gets a buzz off her bp medicine and that Trey is becoming such a ladies man!). Oh, and the part in the middle about the cotton balls is in response to my question about how in the world I am going to collect the urine sample from Fletcher that the hospital requested. The boy doesn't exactly pee on request.

Induction Initiated

I told my mom of my plans and she said, "that sounds just like you." Meaning, of course, that I have once again put aside concern for my comfort and well being in order to try to give my child optimal nutrition. Except that wasn't what she meant at all. What she meant is that I am once again embarking on an endeavor that I researched thoroughly then promptly blew off until the very last minute and now am scrambling to play catch-up. What can I say, she's my mom and she knows me best.

And also like me I have a rationalization. You see, I initially decided against trying to breastfeed because I knew it will be tons of prep work and no guarantee of payoff, as it is basically a crapshoot whether or not I will make enough milk to actually feed a baby. I just didn't want to waste the precious last few months when Fletcher can still be my sole focus being attached to a breast pump, and more specifically, waking up in the middle of the night to pump. I know I have lots of interrupted sleep in my future and didn't feel like accelerating it a month or two, you know? But the more I thought about it, I just figured that with the right mindset it really isn't going to be that much more work (particularly now that the next handful of weeks we will be on our trip and hopefully will have a lot of downtime) and if it gets to be too much, then I will just stop, and not feel guilty about it. This way I am letting my body decide. Who knows, it may surprise me (it has before, although not normally in a good way!).

I have an appointment with an RN on Saturday to go over the protocol. I am going to be using Dr. Newman's Accelerated Protocol and if you are curious you can read a little more about it here. I have taken my first BCP but getting my hands on the other drug is proving to be a bit more of a challenge, but I am working on it.

Confession

I have a confession: If I am up after midnight and on the computer, I always stop by this blog before logging out just to look at the additional day on the pregnancy ticker. Yes, if you hadn't already figured it out, that is how precious each day my little girl spends in-utero is to me.

Now, for the update. Last Thursday we had another OB appointment, the final one I will attend before my trip, so it was the last one in quite awhile for me. Everything looked great. Angie's blood pressure was lower than the last appointment, still no sign of spilling protein, good heartbeat, good fundal height measurement, baby girl is moving a lot and Angie is feeling good. Praise the Lord!

The last two action items on my list before I leave involve the legal documentation we will have to file after the baby is born (a parentage action to rebut the presumption that the woman giving birth and her husband are the parents of the baby-- it is not dissimilar to adoption proceedings, in fact, except it stipulates that Trevor and I are the biological, instead of adoptive, parents) and coordinating the cord-blood collection and storage.

I sent a half-hearted email to a lactation consultant regarding the possibility of inducing lactation, but I haven't heard back from her yet. I am really too busy to tackle this issue in the little time we have left before we leave, so if she gets back to me and things seem possible to arrange before we leave, I will look into it. If not, formula it will be.

30 Weeks

Wow. Hadn't realized it has been so long since my last post. Trevor has been trying to pick up more shifts to make up for the lack of my paycheck and we've had a lot going on with Fletcher (all good, no worries there) that has been keeping me very busy. I know that doesn't bode well for my schedule coming up this June, if I barely seem to make it through the day now, huh.

Thankfully, nothing terribly new to report about Smykeeney Baby. Angie had her one-hour glucose test last week, and the lab never called back, so it looks like she passed. Good news. The baby is measuring on target, heartbeat good, and is an active little lady. Angie reports that she kicks much more than her boys ever did.

Speaking of the boys, Angie's kids are so sweet about the baby. They love to talk to and about "Fletchie's Little Sister" and generally have babies on the brain, it seems. A few weeks ago Michael (her three year old) rubbed his belly and informed Angie that HE has Niki's (my sister-in-law's) baby in HIS belly and "she will be SOO happy!" Ha! And today at church her five-year-old, Trey, was exchanging drawings with his "girlfriend" in the pew in front of them, starting with him giving her a picture of him "so she will always remember him," then her giving him one of the two of them with a heart, and finally he drew one of him and her with, get this, their baby in her belly! Angie intercepted that one, thinking that the little girl's parents might have gotten a bit freaked out.

We are now to the every-other-week stage of appointments, so our next one is Thursday, which will actually be the last one I will be attending for over a month. When I get some time, I will go into details on Fletcher's Blog, but Trevor, Fletcher and I will be out of the country for over a month to seek therapy for Fletcher that is not yet available in the U.S. Which means I will be gone for roughly weeks 32-37. If Angie's blood pressure starts rising or anything else starts looking funny I will be on the next plane back to KC and Trevor and Fletcher will stay behind, but please say a prayer that everything goes smoothly and Angie stays nice and big and pregnant into June.

This also means that I have to get everything ready for the baby before we leave at the end of this month. She will be sleeping in my room in the co-sleeper (what we are going to do with Fletcher, who currently sleeps in our bed, is still to be determined) and once she outgrows that she will be taking over Fletcher's (gender-neutrally-decorated) nursery and he will move to the guest room. I have one package of newborn diapers and four BIG tubs of size newborn to 9 months girls clothes thanks to my cousin Stephanie and her daughter Ellen.

Other than that, the only big remaining issue is food. I am still trying to decide about that one. Had recently decided to forget trying to induce lactation given the timing of our travels, etc, but then they had to release that news story about rocket-fuel ingredients being found in powdered infant formulas. Great. So now I am rethinking things. Again. But, just in terms of logistics and my sanity, I think formula will probably be the route we will end up taking, even though I turned my life upside down to pump for Fletcher until his first birthday.

A Significant Day

Today is a very special day for two reasons (the second reason just dawned on me as I noted the date of this blog post). Fletcher was born at 25 weeks 2 days gestation, and, absent anything completely crazy happening in the next handful of hours, this pregnancy is officially of longer duration. So, I am happy to admit there is something my little sister does better than me... and that is gestate babies (even my own baby). See Angie, I am freely admitting you are better than me at something, but don't get used to it.

I am excited beyond words about this milestone. Every day baby girl is in there is an extra day of doing nothing but growing and developing of which Fletcher was deprived. As a mother, I can't even explain how difficult it is to watch your child literally fighting for his life--every single one of his organs, from skin, to lungs, to brain, shocked and taxed from being asked to perform long before they are fully developed--when what he is supposed to be doing is floating around in a cozy uterus without a care in the world. Please join me in praying that baby sis has many more days of floating ahead.

The second reason this is a special day is that today, March 1st, marks the second anniversary of Fletcher's homecoming from the NICU. I guess I should really post about this milestone on his blog, but I think the fact that both of these things are happening on the same day is pretty darn cool.

First Milestone Passed

I am not really sure that milestone is the proper term, but today Angie is 23 weeks 6 days pregnant. I was first put on modified at-home bed rest when I was 23 weeks 5 days pregnant with Fletcher.

Back to Normal

I am happy to report that yesterday's OB appointment was uneventful. Angie's blood pressure is back in the normal range, and absent any consistent high readings from home, we are done for now with the elevated-threat-every-two-week appointment and back to every four weeks. So, the next appointment isn't until the end of February, at which time Angie will be just shy of 25 weeks, not that I am obsessing over that particular gestational age or anything... gulp.

I also had a weird unexpected emotional surge come over me during the doppler-portion of the appointment. The OB was maneuvering around Angie's stomach to find the baby's heartbeat (which was a beautiful 140 bpm) and it seemed like the baby was trying to kick at the doppler. The OB mentioned this, and Angie smiled and said, yeah, it feels like she is trying to kick it. All of a sudden I get all teary-eyed. A very small part of the emotional-wave was jealousy, that I wasn't the one who was feeling my baby inside of me, but mostly I just felt so, so grateful and indebted to Angie. It all just felt so REAL at that moment.

I think I have mentioned in this blog before, how I can't really get my hopes up that this is all going to work out in the end. I can't really let myself believe that I will get to take home a big, fat, healthy, full-term baby in June. That said baby is living and kicking inside my sister's belly right at this moment. That Angie is enduring some not-so-fun pregnancy symptoms (some of which she chronicled in her last post) and really putting her own health at risk, in a way, to help me realize my dream of a healthy full-term baby. That she is taking such great care of her and protecting her every day. It just all came crashing down on me at once.

Angie is not a very emotive person, so I don't really talk to her about the crazy emotions of this situation, but I just felt like I needed to say something. So, on the ride home from the appointment I said, "uh, thanks again for doing this." She just laughed at me and then told me I needed to get my eyebrows waxed ASAP and to use her frequent client card so she could get her next one free.

I'm posting, OK

I am posting this to make my sister happy, she has been nagging me for weeks, possibly months to make a post.

I have lots of things I could complain about here, my elevated blood pressure (which is perfect now thanks to ald.omet), my loss of sleep because I am no longer able to sleep on my stomach (and a husband that snores like a locomotive), or the best ailment is bleeding hemorrhoids (I know gross, I did not sign up for this).

But, instead I have decided to share my story of breaking the pregnancy news to my boys. We were at the dinner table, earlier in the day I discussed this with my husband letting him know I was getting strange looks from Trey while dressing in my stretchy maternity jeans, and I asked him if he remembered when I asked him if I should have a baby for Erin so Fletchy could have a brother or sister. He said yes he remembered. So I said well, I have a secret, I have a baby in my belly and could he guess if it was a boy or girl, he guessed correctly. Next he asked if someone could grow two babies. I said yes, knowing he would ask for one, but that I just had one baby in my belly and it was Erin's. He was fine with that and continued to ask where would the baby come out and I told him mom's have a special hole for babies where babies are born. He was fine with that explanation until the next day when I was getting into the shower and he stopped me and said wait a minute, let me see that hole. I declined and told him it was private. The next week he went to school and on the way home he tells me he told his teacher that I had a baby in my belly but it was Erin's because Fletchy has holes in his brain. I wondered why I got strange looks when I picked him up that day.

Michael handled the news a little differently, he immediately went into denial saying he was going back into my belly and Erin's baby was not in my belly. Now he has moved on to acceptance but occasionally tells me Erin's baby is in his belly.

Twenty Weeks

Yea! Please say a prayer for us that this truly is only the half-way mark. Angie had a couple of nerve-wracking days where it seemed like her blood pressure wasn't responding to the meds and remained elevated, but thankfully it looks like it is now back down into the acceptable range. Home blood pressure monitors can cause more trouble than they are worth sometimes (particularly the budget-conscious one Angie has (can you believe some of the more advance models are nearly $100!?)). Thanks, Angie, for taking it easy this past week.

Going Public

Originally, I restricted access to this blog to only those I invited in order to be able to control when I disclosed this pregnancy to my work colleagues (did you think it was because of modesty or fear of broadcasting the most intimate details of my life to anyone who stumbles upon this site... ha!). Because I was laid off in November, that obviously is no longer a concern. So, I have decided to make this blog public. I have not been good at posting, and Angie has been even worse, so this way, anyone who still reads this can use a subscription service like the one I use, that will alert you when any blog you may follow has been updated.

Second OB Appointment

Started off with the anatomy scan and guess what... it's a girl! Okay, so that is not as exciting as it could have been, you know, if we hadn't already found out gender from the chromosome screening and all. Everything looked fine with the baby and she is measuring right on target, which is good, considering that already, at one day shy of 19 weeks, Angie's blood pressure is elevated.

As most of you know, the beginning of the end of my pregnancy with Fletcher started with elevated blood pressure, so not surprisingly, this news makes me a little nervous. Angie's OB explained to me that Angie has a history of borderline-high bp anyway, so this is most likely more indicative of chronic hypertension (which is no surprise given our family history) and is not a sign of preeclampsia. Chronic hypertension is not without its risks to a pregnancy, but it is much more manageable than preeclampsia. Even so, he has prescribed her a very low dose of pregnancy-compatible blood pressure medication and also advised her to take a daily calcium supplement. He also asked her to check her blood pressure at home a couple of times a day and to make her next appointment for two weeks from today, instead of the usual four.

Angie insists that her high bp is due to the fact that she has gained more than a little weight since we started the fertility treatments (lupron is known to increase appetite, and she was on it for four or five months off and on before the cycle) and that the doctor is just being overly cautious with everything because I am making him paranoid with all of my questions and comments. But you know what, better safe than sorry. Even though I would have to pay her paycheck if she gets put on bedrest and can't work, I would gladly do that to insure she makes it well into the third trimester of this pregnancy. I just pray it doesn't come to that.