Or Not

So, Murphy's Law and all that jazz. I had a cyst, maybe even two (sibling rivalry, had to outdo Angie). Apparently what I didn't know about us poor responders, we're prone to cysts (long medical explaination short, cysts are common, but usually go away on their own and are not supposed to occur if you are properly suppressed with BCPs). I have more details to share (of course), but my computer is on the fritz and I am at my mom's and Fletcher will be interested in "piano lessons" for only so long, so I will keep it brief.

My RE (reproductive endocrinologist aka the fertility doc) mentioned surgery to remove the cyst, but I decided to give it a little more time to go away on its own, as the last thing I need right now are more hospital bills on top of the cycle costs and all of Fletcher's bills. So we are throwing a double dose of birth control pills at the little bugger(s) and will see what happens when I go in for my next scan on August 29th. In the meantime Angie gets a brief respite in her role as pin cushion.

That's the latest and greatest. Hopefully will be posting at the end of the month with some good news.

This May Actually Be Happening

Angie's blood work came back and she is sufficiently suppressed. That means it is my turn. I have a blood draw/sonogram on Thursday to see if I am suppressed (which is never a problem for me... it is the one good thing about being a poor responder). And I know, never say never, but I am optimistic all will be well.

The next step will be Angie starting her estrogen patches to start thickening her uterine lining and I will begin the stim phase (I do the Flare protocol because of my history as a poor responder). I haven't really allowed myself to think too much about this cycle. I was obsessed with my prior (four) IVF cycles, it was the only thing on my mind for months at a time. This time is different, since I already have so much going on with Fletcher. Plus, I think I need to keep my distance from this, not only in case it doesn't work, but also in case it does.

I am including a link here to a post from another woman who developed severe pre-eclampsia and is now "surrogately" 18 weeks pregnant. Her situation is different from ours in that (1) her pre-e pregnancy resulted in the death of her twins and (2) her surrogate is a stranger. However, I thought the comments she solicited were interesting and they make me feel better about this crazy endeavor, especially since you, my dear readers, ahem, have not been all that forthcoming with your comments. Encouragement, people, I need encouragement!

Feeling Supressed?

Angie goes in for her suppression scan tomorrow, to see if the heavy-duty pills are doing their work. This stage was the beginning of the end of our early-summer cycle as despite the BCPs and lupron, Angie wasn't suppressed, meaning she ovulated, meaning she had all sorts of crazy hormones in her body that might possibly adversely affect our cycle, meaning the cycle was postponed.

You see, the goal is to trick mine and Angie's bodies into thinking we are on the same cycle so when they harvest and fertilize my eggs and transfer a hopefully kick-butt blastocyst into her uterus 5 days later, her body will be at the stage to accept said kick-butt embryo. So, the clinic wants to be able to fully manipulate her hormones so she is at the precise levels and the precise time, but last time her hormones were slightly off, and so were our plans.

This is all just as well, because I have been using the extra few months to procrastinate at finishing the surrogacy contract, going caffeine free, and doing all the other things that I intended to do pre-stim to get myself into better shape, which still has yet to be done.

When and if this cycle actually gets some momentum, I hope this blog will as well. In the meantime, I want to invite all of you invited readers (don't you feel special) to post comments, words of encouragement, or any questions you may have, whether they be of a scientific nature, such as what is a blastocyst, a medical nature, such as why we are going through all this trouble, or a personal nature, such as what color underwear is Angie wearing tonight. Hey, this is a blog about one of the most personal experiences a person (or two or three) can go through. If we are willing to (somewhat) publicly disclose this saga, chances are, you ask it, we'll answer it.

It's Here, It's Here! The eagle has landed!

Finally! It's here, Oh happy day! Oh happy day! Wait a minute, am I insane, I am talking about my period aka my bleed. You know, the thing that makes you bleed for a week and have horrible cramps. I have been brainwashed, all this excitement over starting my period. What have I gotten myself into? I knew I would start today, I planned it all perfectly, first I purposely have not purchased any feminine products, second, I wore my new white underwear to bed, and third, promised my son we could go to oceans of fun today for his birthday. Combine all three ingredients together and that is a recipe for starting your period if I ever heard one! I don't know why I did not think of this a month ago. I know Erin I told you that you would be the first to know when I start but just in case there are members of my fan club logging in to read our blog at 5:30 on a Monday morning I just could not keep them waiting. Now, if I only Marge had given me her home phone number, she told me to call as soon as I started, I wonder if 5:30 is too early for her?

Marge, I'm still waiting!!!!

Still haven't started my period, or as Marge puts it "my bleed". I swear that woman creeps me out. She told me I should start in a week after my progesterone shot(s). I had to put the dose in two syringes because of the large volume. I tried to explain to Marge that the shot goes into my butt and I am certain it is large enough to handle it all in one syringe but she advised against that. She told me to call last Friday if I had not started and when I did call large Marge tells me "these things take time", like she is bothered that I am calling her. I can not wait to call her this Friday with the news I still have not started. I would not be surprised if that woman sent me and my small ovaries into menopause. It is quite possible that the medication she gave me was not progesterone but pancake syrup which is about the same consistency. That would explain why I haven't started "my bleed", and why my shorts are too tight.

All the shots I had been taking made me grow a mustache, it was so thick the Asian woman who gave me my pedicure asked me if I needed a wax. I didn't even know they did waxing at the nail salon. I wonder what other services they offer, I was afraid to ask. Maybe they offer infertility treatments, I will have to ask next time I'm in, if they can do a pedicure for $18 I can't imagine what kind of deals they offer on IVF. I bet they would even throw the waxing in for free.

Naming Rights

Although this is definitely getting WAY ahead of ourselves, in response to the last post, I just thought I would share the names Angie has been throwing around. The front runners seem to be Angela, Jr. for a girl (of course) and D'angelo for a boy... yeah. The latter will always remind me of this picture from his (in)famous music video, or maybe this more recent picture, neither of which are really images that should come to mind when thinking about your possible future son, ya think? MAYBE she will get to pick a middle name, but I am reserving a veto right. I am in the process of reviewing our surrogacy contract-- yep, the clinic is requiring one of those-- so maybe I should reduce this to writing.

Damn it Marge, say it ain't so!

After 26 subq injections (shots that go into the fat of my belly), 5 vaginal sonograms (assaults with a wand that I would rather not explain), 7 blood draws (at least the technician had skills) and numerous days of taking my birth control pills at exactly 7pm (I tend to be a little anal), Marge calls to tell me I have failed. I am very disappointed but I have decided not to blame myself but to blame Marge. Now I guess I will have to wait until the end of August or beginning of September to start again because the clinic is overrun with infertile people trying to get pregnant next month. Its hard being infertile.

I am pretty sure that my sister wants me to do this not because I am the only one dumb enough to shoot myself millions of times to have a baby for someone else, but because she knows how impatient I am and wants to share some of the torture she has been through with some else. I am definitely getting to name this baby.